All you need in life is confidence, it makes everything better! At least that’s what the internet will have you believe. But it’s something that isn’t always that easy to come by.
How is confidence defined? Dictionary.com suggests the following:
At its core confidence is fundamentally the practice of belief, more specifically self-belief. You will grow in confidence and self-confidence if you just believe you can. If you cast out all the negatives thoughts from your mind, that little voice that whispers ‘you can’t, you can’t’ in your ear whenever you are alone or whenever you need it the least.
How do you know your lacking ever so slightly in the confidence department? You’ll just know, but what you might not be considering is that will everyone else! Both confidence and the lack there-of generate a number of behaviours that other people can read all too loud a clear.
Confident people stand tall, proud and all majestic. Their actions aren’t governed by the thoughts of others, or indeed what people may or may not think of them. Such people aren’t afraid to take risks, admit when they were wrong or change if change is needed. Finally, those insufferably confident people exuding their aura don’t chase recognition but allow their actions to speak for themselves, whilst graciously accepting compliments if they arise. As you can imagine, those who aren’t brimming with self-assurance act in pretty much the opposite way.
But fear not, there are a many ways to reach your goal of obtaining that life-changing confident glow you have always dreamt off. Here are just a few:
The first, fake it! Self-confidence is a fickle mistress, one day you’ll be merrily skipping down the road together hand in hand. The next, she’ll be throwing your clothes over the balcony of your 26th floor apartment hoarsely screaming at you. So fake it! Fake that swag, that smile and pretend to be the person you want to be until you are in fact that person. After all,there’s nothing wrong with faking it from time to time. (We don’t need to get into that conversation about whether women fake it or not.)
Make a Few Little Changes
Aside from that there are a couple of little tweaks you can make to add that feel good factor to your daily life.
- Smile at yourself in front of a mirror every morning. I know it can feel a little strange/awkward grinning at yourself like an idiot first thing after you’ve awoken. But seriously, try it for a few days and you’ll notice the difference. With all that positive chemical goodness flowing through your veins.
- Tell yourself ‘you can’ or adopt some other positive mantra. Once you’ve got your happy thought (thanks Peter) hold on to it. After you’ve spent a little of your morning smiling, repeat that mantra to yourself. This can be done either out loud or in your head. But I’d recommend repeating it in your head if you live with others, they don’t need to know just how crazy you really are.
- Adjust your posture. It’s been said, by scientists I may add, that standing in a more confident pose will begin to make you feel more confident. Who knew? How do you stand more confidently? It’s pretty straightforward. Stand ‘powerfully’ with your feet shoulder width apart, square-off your shoulders, straighten that spin and keep your head up.
Work Hard and Train Hard
A lot of your problems will stem from the fact you don’t think you’re good enough, you’re not competent enough. Whether that is true or not is not for me to say, but if you find yourself in that frame of mind then you need to change it ASAP. Practice, practice, practice. (I used the rule of three there so you know it’s important.) If you want to remove that feeling of inability then get good at something. Anyone in this world can do literally anything they want if they set their mind to it and forego all the quintessential excuses. You want to become a painter or a photographer? Then paint and take photographs. You want to become a world renown orator, get speaking and delivering those speeches. Want to be the best window washer you can? Clean windows! Just go do whatever it is you want to do.
Last but not least, you’ll need to go out into the big wide world and generate a little self-belief. This isn’t going to come from others (although a little encouragement never hurt anyone) it has to come from you and you alone. Only you can truly convince yourself that you’re worth it (and you are). Only you can drag yourself from the comfort of your bed every morning and face what ever the world has cooked up for you.
Self-worth isn’t determined by how much money you have, by how big or expensive your car and house are (if you have one that is). It doesn’t require you to meet crazy beauty standards imposed by your peers and the media, it doesn’t mean you have to walk, talk, act or eat certain things in certain ways. It only requires that you do you. Regardless of whether you’re the muscle bound body builder pumping iron from dusk till dawn (or the other way around) or the geeky guy sat at home ploughing hour after hour into World of Warcraft, EVE Online or League of Legends, if you love it then do it.
What will follow is the confidence you’ve always dreamt of.